Sorry I’ve been away

First off let me apologise for my lack of blogs recently. As with any illness, you have rough times, and unfortunately I’ve been going through my own lately.

My pain levels have been really high, which has meant I haven’t been able to do too much. Also, I have been having to rely on extra painkillers which can make me really sleepy and pretty useless.

It all came to a head, as such on Saturday. With adhesions, depending on what they are stuck to, it can lead to other problems. **WARNING THIS MAY GET A BIT GROSS**
When your bowels are effected this can cause major issues and if a full obstruction occurs, it can even be life threatening. This is why after a week of agony, and not being able to go to the toilet, I was understandably worried. For this reason I called 101, the NHS advice line. The woman went through some questions with me and then told me she would need to speak to one of the clinicians due to my answers. When she came back on the line she went on to explain that an ambulance had been dispatched to me and to sit tight until they arrived. Needless to say, I freaked! Panic and scared do not even come close to how I was feeling, whilst at the same time it was a relief someone was taking me seriously. Doctors don’t like to acknowledge adhesions after all.
The ambulance turned up about 10 minutes later and they came in and started taking my obs. I had low blood pressure (but that’s pretty normal for me), my blood sugar levels were fine but I was slightly tachycardic (heart beating slightly too fast). They put me on gas and air to help with the pain, and made a phone call to the Doctors explaining all this. Because I live on my own they thought it best that I went into hospital so I could be checked over properly, because the chance of obstruction was still a risk. This is where it all went downhill……….

Once I arrived at the hospital my obs were taken again and they were pretty much the same as before. I was then taken through to a corridor…..and left! For about an hour. With no pain relief! Apparently this was the queue for the Accident and emergency Department. I was in agony and hadn’t had any painkillers since the morning, so I assumed someone would at least be along to provide me with something, but this never happened. Finally though I was taken through to a cubicle…..and left again. This time for half an hour or so. Then a nurse came in, just to tell me that she was my nurse BUT that her shift was actually just finished and someone else would be taking over from me! When I’m in pain, I have a tendency to show it through anger. I was in immense pain, and getting angrier by the second!
Eventually a new nurse came in to take blood samples and to get me to do a urine sample. I was then told that the only pain relief I was to be given was paracetamol. Now for those of you who are lucky enough to not have to take painkillers, paracetamol is for mild pain relief ie headaches. Now daily I take Tramadol, which is a hell of a lot stronger, an opiod painkiller. So to be told this, nearly drove me through the roof. If that was the case I would have been better off staying at home and sticking with the stuff I had indoors!!
Because of this I finally snapped and told them this, that I would be better off at home, so would they take the cannula out of my arm and let me go. The nurse advised against this and said she would get the Dr to come and see me straight away. In all fairness he was pretty quick. The Harry Potter lookalike! Was pretty hard to take him seriously, as I swear his voice hadn’t even broken yet!! He examined me and said that my bowels sounded like they were moving, all my tests had come back clear so they were pretty sure there was no major obstruction. I was advised to ‘rest my bowel’ for the next few days and see what happens. This would mean cut down my fibre content as much as possible and eat things, that would be easily digested and that could move smoothly along my intestines and through my bowels. If it didn’t improve I would be best off seeing my GP and getting another hospital referral.

That all happened 3 days ago. I’m still in quite a lot of pain but the good news is that I finally managed to ‘go’ today!! Woo Hoo!!! When you have a chronic illness that has side effects like these, you tend to lose your dignity slightly and become able to talk about these things much easier. It also means that simple things, such as bowel movements become an important part of your life. Pretty sad huh!

So I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that now I have ‘movement’, the pain will start easing off. If not, could be the start of yet another referral journey……..

UPDATE – Let the music heal your soul

This week has been a pretty sh****y week to be honest. I woke up this morning, got to the sofa with a coffee and as soon as I finished my coffee, I felt completely done in, so made my way back to bed. Now I’m lying here, in pain. I’ve spent the last half an hour writhing on my bed and shouting to myself, because of the pain and the frustration!! No one mentions that part do they!! This is a regular thing for me actually, I end up moaning while fidgeting and trying to get comfortable at least. If anyone saw me, they would think I had completely lost the plot!! There is always one thing that I can rely on to distract me (to a point anyway) and that is music! So I now have my playlist on.

My music taste has always been varied. I grew up hearing Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin through to Dr Hook and Fleetwood Mac, Kate Bush to Black Sabbath. Most of my happiest memories involve music. So as I grew up it only seemed natural that I wanted to learn music too, so I started playing the flute when I was 9ish and carried on till I was around 16. It’s weird cause whenever I would play, all my concentration would go into that. Nothing else would exist for those minutes I would be playing a tune. As life goes though, it wasn’t cool to be a flute player (especially after American Pie came out!!) so I havent played properly in years now, but music has continued to always be a constant in my life. I have my happy songs, my sad songs, my positive songs and the songs I can just have a good old cry to! My music taste is even wider now, still including all of the above and more!

Today I’m on my positive playlist:
Christina Aguilera
Britney Spears
Frozen
Emile Sands
Christina Perri
Nickelback
Ellie Goulding
Kate Bush
These are just a few on the list

Music can bring out so many emotions in you, and I find, can even help to change your mood. So today, I’m feeling so angry and useless, therefore I am trying to play the most positive of songs to change my way of thinking.
If you listen to lyrics, they can seem so personal during certain times, and this is another reason I find it helps. Knowing that someone may actually understand exactly where you’re coming from!!

Now I know this isn’t so much ‘adhesion’ related but music is a tool I use so much during bad ‘ARD’ days and something I wanted to share with others.

So next time you’re feeling in pain, down in the dumps and really not seeing the point in anything, try making a ‘Positive Playlist’ and see what it does for your mood. If you’re feeling up to it, why not even have a bit of a boogie to it and see if music can really heal your soul……

We’re not born as Arnie!

Living with a chronic illness can be extremely debilitating. It can lead to certain activities being very limited. One of the things I am asked about the most when it comes to this, is exercise. How can people with adhesions still manage to work out, without causing more pain and damage to themselves?

Over the years I have been on many different medications, I’ve been too ill to be able to move and also to eat. As a result my weight fluctuated for quite a while. It seemed one min I had this little pot belly and fat cheeks, the next I was being asked if I had an eating disorder! The moment it really dawned on me though, was being asked when my baby was due! Any woman who isn’t pregnant knows that this is our worst nightmare!!!

So I went on the search on how to exercise safely. Luckily I have a few friends who are in the fitness/nutrition industry so I bombarded them all with 101 questions on anything and everything I could think of. What foods are good for weight loss? What exercises are good? And I took on board everything they said, and then tailor made my own program.

Now I am not going to say from then on it was easy peasy, because that would be the furthest thing from the truth! I started working out at the gym and doing yogalates at home but me being me completely overdid it, and found myself in more pain than ever and that put me out for even longer! So it was a case of trial and error. One thing I did find though was that by doing weight training, it put less stress on my pelvis and abdomen as I could focus on certain areas, hitting certain ones harder than others. A lot of people would assume that by doing weight training you would suddenly turn into some He-She Muscle Mary, but that is one of the biggest misconceptions in fitness. Yes, if you train in a certain way then I probably could do that, but that’s not what I wanted.

Diet was the next hurdle. There is no point doing any exercise if your diet is full of rubbish. You would be completely defying any exercise you do. Anyone with adhesions also knows full well that diet and certain foods can be a trigger for a flare up, so everything was again trial and error. It soon became apparent that there never is, and never will be a ‘quick fix’ to weight loss. You get exactly what you put in!

The problem is that people think that all exercise programs are aimed at everyone, again, this is not true! Any type of program should be individual and aimed at YOU. We are all different, we all have different limits BUT having a chronic illness shouldn’t be one of them. Yes it can make it harder but it doesn’t make it impossible. People have said to me that it must be easy for me as I am naturally slim……well I think the pictures show different. Ok, so I have never been extremely large, and yes sometimes the medication can help that BUT in the opposite the medication can make it 100 times worse! I was at my biggest whilst I was on hormone injections, Zoladex. I went up to a size 14, which may not seem big to some people but when you’re used to being a size 8-10, it trust me, it is! So I made a conscious effort to make sure that I didn’t get any bigger.

So if you do have adhesions, or any chronic illness in fact, that shouldn’t be a reason not to keep yourself healthy in all other aspects of your body. It’s just finding out what works, and doesn’t, for you.

Surely if I can do it, then so can everyone. Don’t worry about people around you. Know your limits and just keep going. Yeah, it may take longer than some people to get to where you’re happy. Yes, there maybe people around you lifting heavier and yup, you may get those funny looks in the gym but just remember this………EVERYONE HAS TO START SOMEWHERE! We weren’t all born to be Arnies, HE wasn’t even born that way, he just worked hard!

 

***PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL AND ALL OPINIONS IN THIS POST ARE FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE. THEY ARE NOT MEANT IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER. IF IN DOUBT, ALWAYS CHECK WITH A DR BEFORE COMMENCING ANY EXERCISE REGIME***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not all about us!

Suffering with adhesions or Adhesion Related Disorder (ARD) can be a big enough struggle on the patient but it’s not all about us!
The lives of everyone around a sufferer around can change too.
So I asked my mum to write something about how she sees it;

“I am mother of a daughter who has suffered from adhesions for the past eight years. Sarah Emily has always and will continue to have my total support. Over the years, I have gone to doctors appointments, hospital appointment and all her surgery. Every time, after an operation, you think, yes , this will work this time only to be disappointed.
I can’t even imagine the constant pain that she has to endure, daily, the painkillers she has to take which don’t always work and wonder, is this my daughter’s life for the rest of her life? Should someone be accountable for what has happened to her as she got an infection after having her appendix removed for no reason? Mr Guyer, her consultant, has always given Sarah the utmost care and unwavering support.
I have an amazing daughter for who life is tough for her but deals with this, stoically, daily. People judge her, your too skinny, other days her stomach is so swollen and she is in so much pain.
It’s an illness that no-one can see, on the outside, she looks okay.
I don’t think there is enough information to be had to understand A.R.D.
I will continue to be there for Sarah, through the good and the bad times because this is a debilitating illness and I feel that it’s all I can do.
But as a mother, all I want to do, is take it all away for her.”

When I read this, I won’t lie, but it made me cry. Why? Because I felt so guilty! Sometimes we forget that it doesn’t just affect us but also everyone that cares about us too. They are the ones that sit up with us night after night when the pain’s so bad, they are the ones who attend the doctors and hospital appointments with us. They hear the nasty comments that are made about us ‘faking it’. Although they may not have the physical pain, the mental and emotional strain on them is just as tough. Having to be the strong one whilst watching someone they love curled up in pain.

So this is dedicated to all those who have stuck by us, helped us out and been there through thick and thin! It’s those people that mean the most and help us get through each day. We couldn’t do it without you, so this is a big THANK YOU to you all out there!

You are our rocks!!

xxx